Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Miserable Rant's official. Hugh Jackman is all set to play Jean Valjean in the upcoming Les Miserables flick. There's still plenty of time for this to change, but as of now, Wolverine is gonna take on the most challenging male vocal role in musical theater history (above pic courtesy of my boredom). May I remind everyone what happened the last time Cameron Mackintosh vouched for a 'hot sexy' type in the lead role of a musical film adaptation?
But alas, that is another rant for another day.
I don't doubt that Hugh Jackman can sing, but can he really sing THIS? I'm sure with the aid of studio magic Jackman will make a passable Valjean, but why go through the trouble? Why not cast someone who has already proven himself and actually looks the part? Like one of the Valjeans from the US tour, West End, or New York? I can think of three off the top of my head: Alfie Boe, Mark McVey, and John Owen Jones. All have powerful voices, all are remarkable actors, and all embody Jean Valjean!
Hugh Jackman? He's a freaking stallion! Valjean is NOT supposed to be that attractive! There are many things I never want to experience in this life, and one of them is to catch myself drooling during 'Bring Him Home'. I mean, just look at him...

It actually took me an hour of deliberation to decide which pic to put here. That's how beautiful they all were.
The only other actor currently linked to this film is Paul Bettany. For Javert. Yes, you read that right. A skinny, pasty Brit as Inspector Javert. Alright, first of all, can he sing? I dunno! He can certainly act, but that doesn't make up for the fact that he looks nothing like Javert and certainly doesn't exude a badass-terminatoresque-muttonchopped-cop-from-hell attitude. Like this guy:

Don't get me wrong, I like Hugh Jackman and Paul Bettany. A lot. But I don't want to see them in this movie. Not in these roles, anyway. If they insist on using them, I think Jackman should be Javert and Bettany should be Thenardier. Jackman can pull off the sideburns, and Bettany can be pretty damn funny. Maybe I'll post my ideal cast later.
And who knows, maybe two years from now I'll find myself posting a raving review of the film. But as of now, they aren't even filming yet and I'm already afraid for this movie. My only message to the filmmakers is this: Beware. You're treading upon hallowed ground.
Next thing you know, they'll be casting a Jonas Brother as Marius. Oh wait...

Heaven help us. Heaven help us all.


  1. Kimmy I love the way you write. You should be working for a major newspaper or magazine. But maybe your blog will be noticed by the right people and your talent will finally be enjoyed by the whole world! By the way thanks for making me laugh without even trying.

  2. Love it Kimmy. I look forward to future posts. Coincidentally I was just talking about Hugh Jackman tonight. I was going on and on about how he is a true triple threat and not bad on the eyes either. I melt whenever I hear him sing. Check out his rendition of Curly in the 1999 london cast of Oklahoma! Yummy goodness. You will swoon the whole way through.

  3. You know, I think you have the role of Jean Valjean all wrong. Originally his character was written to possess a certain amount of sex appeal. Unfortunately only fat old men tried out for the part and ever since the role has had a very unsexy line of Jean Valjeans...sad. Jackman will dazzle the audience with his uncharacteristically high Soprano singing voice, his sweet interpretive dance move, and his raw manliness. The only way this movie could be better is if they found a way to include the metal claws. Mmmmmmm...Jackman Valjean.