Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A Sherlockian Rant

Besides the fact that "A Game of Shadows" just came out, I've really been into Sherlock Holmes for a few months now (which you may have deduced from my blog's background). I bought the complete collection from Borders when it was having its 'going out of business' sale and have been steadily reading the adventures of Holmes and Watson since.

But it wasn't until yesterday when I discovered a mysterious note on my truck's windshield that I realized the impact those stories were having on me. I immediately began to scrutinize the note from every possible angle, I noted that it was written in pencil, I noted the quality and size of the paper, I gave it a whiff, then I moved on to the actual message. It read:

"I offer my apologies for parking in your spot Ms. Haskins. I was under the impression that the Summerlyn tenants don't generally park in their assigned sections. I hope my ignorance has not caused you any grave inconvenience, and I assure you that my actions shall not be repeated."

What. The. Hell?

I determined the writer was a male, because even though the writing was very neat the script was capitalized. And the neatness may be explained through the author's careful choice of words. It's very well worded, so if he took the extra time to compose such a message he must have written it slowly and deliberately, thus resulting in very neat script.

Further, he spells 'Summerlynn' incorrectly. A tenant of the actual complex would not have made such an error, especially considering the slow and deliberate pace in which this note was written. Besides, all Summerlynn tenants are female.

In addition, he placed this note 'pon my windshield whilst I was parked in a spot marked 301. I live in apartment 202.

Once I made these deductions I patted myself on the back and turned my mind to who may have written such a bizarre note.

The overall nature of the note seems to imply that I've become upset with someone for parking in my space. That's not so. For one, I don't have a parking space. None of the residents of Summerlynn do. The spaces may be marked but no one pays attention to them since the parking garage is not monitored and there are always plenty of spots. Secondly, I never left a note on anyone's windshield indicating I was upset with their parking in a certain spot. Nor have I ever expressed such a sentiment aloud.

Whoever it is, they know who I am and the vehicle I drive. This disturbs me because not even my neighbors know which car is mine. In fact, I hardly know which cars are my roommates'. In my stalker's defense, my truck is very unique from the hoard of Corollas and Civics that crowd the parking garage. So if he observed me driving once, I wouldn't be difficult to commit my truck to memory.

That doesn't make it any less creepy, though.

My guess would be that the note belongs to a certain young man whom I chatted with during a ward social this past Saturday. We somehow got on the subject of parking, and I revealed to him that our parking garage is always abundant with vacancies and is not monitored.

If he had taken this to heart and utilized our parking garage, it's very possible he spotted my truck and decided to leave me a note. My roommates think this is his way of telling me he likes me. Well, he's going about it the wroooong way. The only things I wanna find on my windshield are flowers or mix tapes.

Honestly, I hope it was him. Because if it was anyone else the facts wouldn't align and I would find myself in a conundrum. As it is, I think it's very bizarre and only goes to show how much Holmes has effected me.

At least I know this weirdo thinks I live in apartment 301.


  1. Okay, this is seriously creepy. I'm hoping it's this dude and not anybody else. Maybe it's your roommates playing a trick on you? Hm...
    Also, just know you are not alone in projecting your Sherlock Holmes obsession into everyday life :D
    PS my captcha word is "thors"!!!

    1. Thors! Haha I love it. While I doubt my roommates are responsible, I definitely agree on the creepiness.

  2. 'Pon my word Kimmy...I think you may have a stalker! Also, don't worry about your Sherlock Holmes obsession...I caught myself doing the same thing the other day when I was in a classroom full of fifth graders. I actually tried to "deduce" facts about them from their appearance, clothing, shoes, etc. The only thing I came up with is they're extremely uninteresting.

    1. It turns out my deductions were all for naught. It was the suspect's roommate!