Of Dodgers and Target

I just had an experience at Target I've deemed worthy of blogging about.

I only had 3 things to buy; orange juice, packing tape, and super glue.  (Not to use together, mind you.)

I was standing in the shortest of the extremely long lines when a kindly employee offered, "I can check you out here, ma'am."  And opened a register just for me.  I had thanked her and plopped my groceries on the conveyer belt when a voice cut in, "Hey, could you check me out first?" 
A harried-looking woman in a slutty Dodgers shirt was fixing me with a look of contempt.  "I was here first,"  she continued, "My stuff is already on this checkout belt, I was here first!  You're being rude."  The conveyer belt she spoke of was completely loaded with back to school supplies.  The employee manning said register was still checking out the customer before her.  "I'm in a huge hurry,"  The Dodger continued, "I have kids in the car, and I was already here, and blah blah blah me me me meeeeee…"

Now, let's take a little trip inside my noggin.  (Don't be afraid.)

The Disney employee in me is well experienced in listening to people vent about stupid things and in turn, soothing them, 'Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, tell me all about it and I'll see if I can help...'
But the Haskins/Perez in me is well experienced in throwing crap right back.  I wanted to snap, 'And who are you to assume I'm not in a hurry too?  Never assume someone else is having a better day than you, lady.'

As a result of these two conflicting impulses, my brain, to my shame, froze like a PC and I found myself staring blankly at her with my mouth slightly agape.

"I only have three things."  I managed to say.

"That doesn't matter, I was here before you!  This is ridiculous!  I want to speak with a manager!"

I looked to the kindly employee behind my register and asked, "Well, what do you wanna do?"
In response, she grabbed my orange juice and scanned it.  Boop.

Cool.

Checking out took a grand total of 20 seconds, during which I asked the employee how her day was going.  "Good, up 'til now."  She replied.  The Dodgers fan was still making a fuss when I left.

Moral of the story kids--don't be selfish.  If you do, you wind up looking like a douche and not getting what you want.  Part of the reason I was so floored is because I couldn't believe how self-centered she was being.  How did she know I wasn't in a hurry too?  Or that I hadn't had my car stolen, lost my dog, broken up with a boyfriend, or had my bank account hacked?  Never assume someone else is having a better day than you.

Thank goodness I was having a good day or I  would be blogging from Target prison where that creepy white dog is the guard.

Just imagine this staring at you through the cell bars.