Today I taught my Anthro 101 lab for the first time. I burst through the doors and swept to the front of the class as I said, "There will be no foolish pencil waving or silly lectures in this class! As such i don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is anthropology." Then I singled out a little Freshmen and decided to make his life a living hell.
But wouldn't that have been awesome if I did?
Hopefully I'll never have to channel Snape, they seem pretty well-behaved. I was nervous, in fact I had to actually tell myself in my head "Calm down, calm down, calm down..." for the first few minutes. Eventually, I got into the swing of things.
When I first arrived there were several students loitering in my classroom from a previous class. I slowly made my way over to the podium and gave them a questioning look. Then I heard a girl say, "Is there another class in here?" A boy replied, "They can wait." It was 5 minutes 'till the top of the hour, so I figured my freshmen didn't need to wait any longer for some lazy jerks. I said in a loud voice, "Are you kids here for the Anthro section 16 class?" They replied in the negative, so I made a sweeping movement toward the doors and said, "Out!"
I heard an indignant, "'Please'?"
I cast them a Snape-worthy sneer and repeated, "Please get out!"
Normally I wouldn't have been so callous but my students were literally crowded outside in the hall waiting on these jerks. Once the douche bags were gone, my Freshmen made their way in and I had to focus on getting cheerful.
'Cheerful' and 'Kimmy' don't normally appear in the same sentence, my countenance can seem gloomy or angry even when I'm perfectly content. So I had to focus on controlling my facial expressions while telling myself to "calm down calm down calm down" at the same time.
Looking back on it, I probably shouldn't have tried so hard. I must have looked like a twitchy-faced schizo gripping the podium for dear life. I can only imagine what those little Freshmen thought of me as they walked in.
But it turns out they're a good bunch of kids. So far. I'll always have my inner Snape handy just in case.